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Stories Comments Both
politics Truckers: Our First Line of Homeland Defense
by kalital
gfd messagesAIM
on Jan 27, 2005 11:39:43 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

Welcome to the National Network Of Informers: "The Alexandria Virginia-based Highway Watch, started by the American Trucking Association in 1998 and funded since 2002 with homeland security money, focuses on safety and security." (Read the whole article and get really pissed.) Fuck me with a chainsaw. This is like a bad TV show--truckers of the nation unite to save Amurrica!
 
Look forward to becoming a stealth driver. Don't light up that doobie in the car--your friendly semi-driver will be looking out for terrorist dope smokers. Don't drive your car looking like a leftist. Watch out what your bumper stickers say. (I guess I'll now have to peel off "I'd Rather Be Smashing Imperialism".) Don't drive funky cars, and, most important, don't drive while black (especially a nice car, because the white redneck motherfucker with the direct line to the attorney general will be phoning in your license plate. You know that black man didn't get a nice BMW like that because he's a doctor! Don't drive while middle eastern, any shade of brown, or if you look like a queer.

Truckers! It's bad enough the UPS guys and meter readers are part of the homeland security network, but at least there's a minimum intelligence requirement for those jobs, or at least a literacy requirement. But we're talking here about a class of workers who get the idea to for their career off the inside of a matchbook cover. And who listen to (horror of horrors) talk radio and religious channels all day. Oh, they're a fine an unbiased security force. Yeah.

I had this friend from Romania, who escaped during the Ceausescu regime and came to work at the museum where I was also employed at the time. We had a co-worker, a crazy Russian motherfucker who used to (in addition to dropping trou at odd moments) go through everyones' desk. So we warned Radu (our Romanian colleague) not to leave anything important in his desk. Exile from a nation in which every seventh person was a paid informer, he asked us, "Well, what should I have in my desk?" We laughed and told him the Russian's habit was an avocation, not paid work. We sure laughed about that. Informers in America... imagine that. Fuck me. Fuck us all.

[ Comment on this story ]


    Aside from a few missed punctuation marks,
    by TheChisa(come@me.bro)
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    and some grammatical typos which any "whatevercheck" program would catch, a well-scribed, if brief, GFD.

    This topic would vex me with abject fear, as I am the single most radical leftwing LOOKING asshole I know (one need peer only as far as the black WARNING: EDUCATED BLACK MAN t-shirt in my waredrobe for validation), even though many of my actual political standings are centrist or even somewhat conservative. Fortunately, I don't drive!
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    "Lowest Common Denominator"
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    (#17604)
    The problem with programs like this is that no Nobel prize winners are observing you. You don't have any Ph.D. chemists analyzing particulates coming out of your house, no Pulitzer writers describing your every move.

    Instead, you have what can be referred to as the "lowest common social denominator" keeping their ever-watchful eyes on you. Most of these persons are characterized by their lack of formal education, and instead opted to learn trades specific to what they do (which I guess is fine, if it's your conscientious choice). In other words, you have a guy who is basing his idea of criminal activity off of what he catches of "CSI: Topeka", instead of someone a little more qualified to make subjective observations.
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    What The Fuck, Over?
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    on Feb 11, 2005 02:33:30 AM
    (#17663)
    err, you do realize that UPS doesn't drug test at all, making it one of the largest head-friendly organizations in the world... kinda Ironicall to quote Dubya.

    I'd worry more about the truckers around you being spun out on bennies driving a 75,000 pound vehicle in the left lane whilst thinking up the latest way to get around the safety laws they're supposed to abide by... sorta like having the fox guard the henhouse, but then that's the modern way, ain't it?
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