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general Please World, Stop Shitting on Me
by bean
gfd messages
on Feb 28, 2005 11:57:09 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

I'm done.
I've had it.
Enough shit has been added to the pile.
 
One after the other. Those little things, that you usually don't mind when they are separated by a sufficient amount of time, pile up.

Well, let's see. The idea was a nice retreat from work and the city to go skiing. A lot of hard work and studying will be coming down the pipes and this was the last chance to relax before having to deal with it.

Prior to leaving, I decided to confront an issue with a "friend". Now, this "friend" had been a friend for quite some time. And this year, she found Jesus. I dealt with it. I'm a pretty cynical person and I bit my tongue because she asked me too. Time passed and she continued to mention her new-found-faith whenever possible. And I just smiled and nodded because that is what she wanted.

However, I started to become concerned when her life seemed to revolve around this church and her behavior became more and more cult-like. Well, the straw finally fell when she decided to share a song she wrote for her Lord. I couldn't hold my tongue. I told her she was actually scaring me and proceeded to write her a long heart-felt letter voicing my concern. What I got in response was the rantings of a feral human being. Contradicting ideas, rude statements and flat out lies. I debated whether just dropping the subject, but felt that since I had been a friend for years that I needed to say something. So I dissected every aspect of her letter and explained in further detail my concern over her choices. And I left it at that.

Meanwhile, the trip began. A long stretch of highway to a gorgeous mountain with my best friend. I was pretty happy. I had forgotten about my reborn-friend and was merely thinking about tackling a mountain. I spent the night on a hard bed, tossing and turning and barely got any sleep. When I woke, I found myself sick. And not only was I sick, my best friend was still suffereing from a previous illness. But this didn't matter to us. We came to ski and we were going to ski!

The day began with a few nice runs and getting our legs back. By lunch I was feeling the sickness and ended after the last run included stabbing internal pains. The next day proved worse. I spent the morning larfing. (a term meaning laughing and barfing at the same time) Not an ideal way to start the day. I sat at the bottom of the mountain, in pain, wondering if I could even start skiing. I did one trail. One trail and I felt horrible. Hundreds of miles, planning, and money, and all I could do was one trail! I was pissed. I had planned to improve my skiing and see what my skating had done to my skills. But I really didn't have a chance to do anything. My heart sank.

The rest of the trip proved good. Seeing friends with a really comfortable futon. Teaching the way of the rangoon. And sharing zombie movies. The whole being sick part still hindered me from wanting to do anything more than rise from bed.

So hundreds of miles back to home. And checking my email to find, my new-born friend has written me, not once, but twice. I had hoped to find a catty email with understanding tones in it, meaning that we would work through this whole cult thing and end up stronger friends for it. Instead I find the first email, trying with some low blows, to say I was the only party at fault. And that, after 8 years, I never knew this person. Which was a lie. This was someone I had nursed through severe sickness in college, was there through her graduate school endeavors, stayed by her side when whoring became her church, and remained there when God became her new found savior.

The second email scared me. It was a long string of prayers and more feral rants of a woman that has no where to run. It was painful to read because it was madness. Someone denying who they are because their faith has built them into this new shell of a previous person. I blame this all on her church group. This brainwashing "family" that dictates what she believes and how she acts.

I considered sifting through the insanity to show her where her points where invalid and where she was truly lying to herself. Perhaps that's the hardest thing, watching a friend lie to themselves under the guise of faith. But I couldn't do it. I know that all I was doing was making her even more insane by questioning her. So for the first time, I gave up on her. I can't seem to reach her at all. She only hears the words of hew new "friends" and sees me as some anti-Christian liberal. The problem is, she knows better.

I guess the hardest thing is that I still believe in her. That she might be able to see that this group is as destructive as her whoring days. When she told me she was "returning to God", I thought she would understand how to deal with religious people. And that she would stand by her beliefs and not be duped into their way of thinking. I was wrong. And I am just backing off now. I know there is nothing more I can do for her. And it hurts.

The final stab, was after all this, finding a broken shot glass in the garbage disposal. A recent birthday gift for my best friend. That was it. After dealing with all the bullshit of a friend who had lost her mind to God and a ski trip cut short by illness, it was the last thing I needed to see.

[ Comment on this story ]


    FUCK CULTS
    by shitpissfuck
    gfd messages
    on Feb 28, 2005 05:03:04 PM
    (#17715)
    I have fairly recently lost a friend to the same addiction (yes it is an addiction just like any other thing that robs you your hard earned money and rational thought process). As painful as it is to lose a friend in such a manner, there is nothing that you can do about it. Some "friendships" aren't meant to last forever. Religion is nothing but a way to part weak gullible people from their money and ability to think independantly. Be glad that you are smart enough and strong enough to not be sucked in as well.
    [Reply to this comment]
    fuck it, there isnt a thing you can do
    by All the hell with it
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Feb 28, 2005 10:51:32 PM
    (#17717)
    people will be stupid. no matter what you say, the ignorance of faith beats all. let them believe, fuck trying to correct there way. besides, it might be good for some people.
    [Reply to this comment]
    For the record, heart
    by TheChisa(come@me.bro)
    gfd messages
    on Mar 1, 2005 01:33:22 AM
    (#17718)
    I'm sorry about the shotglass. I didn't realize it was down there, but it must have slid in whenever I did the dishes.

    I hope you and your Christian friend work things out, and also that you accomplish all the things you want to do this year.
    [Reply to this comment]
      Stupid Shit
      by bean
      gfd messages
      on Mar 3, 2005 10:22:54 AM
      (#17763)
      No need to worry about the shot glass. It was just the small pebble that let the emotional avalanche descend upon me. And in the wake of emotional drama a piece of glass carried more weight than it should. So don't even worry about it. And I felt bad that you left when you did. But the theme that day was people running far away from me.

      As for the friend, well, I could see it coming and like many of my full scale battles, I wanted to avoid a full on assault because frankly, I get violent and spare no one. I don't want to say I am abandoning her completely, but I should have known better than to hang onto this person. She's been drowning for years and I have a "save the world" complex.

      Things happen for a reason and I'll just have to deal with it and be stronger for it.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        AsharSeo
        by AsharSeo(AsharSeo)
        gfd messages
        on Mar 15, 2019 07:06:13 AM
        (#35403)
        As far as me being a member here, I didnt even know that I was a member here. When the article was published I received a notification, so that I could participate in Comments, so perhaps that is it. But we're certainly all members in the world of ideas. What Day Is Easter
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      adley
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      gfd messages
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      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      AsharSeo
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      gfd messages
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      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Indeed
    by Spanker(munsterinthedark@hotmail.com)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Mar 1, 2005 07:02:28 AM
    (#17719)
    I guess, for the sake of... something, I dunno, I'll try not to assume that you and your friend are totally cut off.
    I'm not entirely surprised that she thinks you might be an anti-Christian liberal, not to say she has any reason or evidence, but because that side to you does exist. I run into the same people even though I tend to encourage religion in people who need it (I don't mean to include the zealots and recruiters).
    The biggest problem anyone on your side faces is that no matter what doubt she has, her religion will console her. Because she's evidently not the most logical person in the first place, reason will take form as doubt, and be thusly rid of.
    Perhaps you could appeal to the Christian side of her? Presumably, if it is the same Bible I know of, you could change the way you would classify a friendship to what she would now classify a friendship- evidently two different things. IE before friendship was about acceptance, now it is about her converting you (or trying to spread her good-fortune, whatever). Ask her to use her new-found religion to come up with a set of blatantly contradicting rules, be as open as possible, then wait for her to figure it out. If she doesn't then, I wouldn't know what to do, but letting them use the logic and reason they choose to employ has done the trick... in my experiences.

    But, regardless, good luck... and if she is already lost I am truly sorry, and ultimately hope you do work things out, it tends to be the case.
    -S
    [Reply to this comment]
    Allow some time to pass...
    by chronkite(whozz@behind.us)
    gfd messagesAIMMSN
    on Mar 1, 2005 09:51:37 AM
    (#17724)
    Just hit "pause" on your relationship with this girl. That way the "tape" won't get jammed too bad.

    [Reply to this comment]
    To all those that commented
    by bean
    gfd messages
    on Mar 3, 2005 10:24:51 AM
    (#17764)
    Thanks.

    I needed a variety of perspectives on this situation to give me confidence on my stance. Thanks for all your advice.

    <3
    bean
    [Reply to this comment]
    Christian Cults... the CC's
    by haterextrodinaire
    gfd messages
    on Mar 31, 2005 02:02:20 AM
    (#18182)
    The ppl who participate in these CC's are usually those who can't get a grip on thier own lives.. so they get lured into a false sense of family and friendship... boom.. next thing u know.. none of thier former friends are good enough for anything but trying to save.

    Religion is not nothing.. it is a very powerful vice that ruins ppls lives. Most of who they recruit are low lifes who fucked over every person in thier lives more than once. Then they find "jesus" and now they are holier than thou. Fuck em.. I left my whole family because of the poison of a CC. They turn into zombies that are out to save your soul, be damned everything else.

    These people are truely the most toxic of all the poisonous people in the world. They carry out murder in the name of life.. how fucked up is that.

    It is, however, not U, nor your ex/friend that i feel for, but the children of those brainwashed (if they had one to begin with) people who fall for this shit and scare the crap out of thier kids with it. I am a grown woman who has dealt with being a child of parents in a cult like this. I was seriously suicidal at 14yrs old because of CCs.. and still live with the scars that will probably haunt me forever.

    as for your ex-friend.. I suggest u dump her selfrightous ass. She may come to her senses if she does something that the "groupthink" masses don't approve of and end up on the shitty end of a collectively stuck up nose... as these people are famous for turning on people who think on thier own.

    As U see I am alittle obsessed about CCs.. They are good for one thing tho.. they do create the best GODFUCKINGDAMNIT moments.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Fuck the psycho bitch gold star
    by splansing(suck it)
    gfd messages
    on Apr 1, 2005 04:32:12 PM
    (#18215)
    Seriously. You could say she is "going through" these phases with the whoring and the church, but people don't go through things. They do things. She is doing all of these things, they aren't happening to her. She's taking your own save-the-world tendencies and milking them by creating these ridiculous situations that require you or somebody else to come help her. That's not a friend, even if you like her as a person. That's just a pain in the ass. A drama queen. Let her come around when she feels like returning the positive energy. Until then, no need to have her sucking off of you.

    No need to rub it in; I realize that this may be totally wrong. Just another plausible perspective for your collection as you ponder the issue.
    [Reply to this comment]
      I so agree
      by haterextrodinaire
      gfd messages
      on Apr 2, 2005 02:13:17 PM
      (#18226)
      Most of these ppl are just looking for attention anyways. Everyone got sick of their behaviours and stopped helping her, so she got right with the lord and is now trying to milk it for all its worth with her "horrible lifestyle" stories with them.. and with u.. she very well may like u trying to talk sense into her... Drama Queens do that alot, even if they are not smart enought to make it a plan.

      At any rate.. this person seems like the type that isn't deserving of real freindship and will never be capable of giving it. Especially if she thinks her "new" christian friends are truely her friends. A personal rule: Never help someone who isn't willing to help themselves. She already knows what your going to say to her and won't listen to it. At this point all she will try to do is convert U.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        Maybe George
        by splansing(suck it)
        gfd messages
        on Apr 4, 2005 02:38:39 PM
        (#18253)
        could apply that rule about not helping people who don't want help next time he's thinking about invading a country and bringing democracy and freedom to the people.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
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