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computers Microsoft Access
by splansing
gfd messages
(suck it) on Mar 14, 2005 01:59:13 PM

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It certainly isn't my first choice. Nobody in their right mind would elect to use Microsoft Access as a development platform.
 
Of course, the people making these decisions seldom have anything on their minds except, "What do we already own?" and "I fucking hate engineers."

Where the fuck does Microsoft get off selling this shit? If I sold software like this to people I would be OUT OF BUSINESS. I called them up at one point to ask them why my database had just completely melted down. The answer I got was this: during development, Access sometimes "gets confused." One possible fix is to export everything in your database to a newly created, blank database.

Recently, I was reading the explanation of how to use a command in visual basic for applications (not to be confused with actual visual basic), and the explanation actually included this: "If the command fails, delete the partially created database and try again."

What the FUCK?!! What does "if the command fails" mean? Why in the hell would it fail? Ah, I see. You have no idea, do you? Otherwise, you probably would have fixed it. Or maybe not. You might just include bullshit like this because the dates that Bill set for release of a new product didn't allow enough time for you to fix every little thing. Like making the goddamn program not completely fucking MELT DOWN AND DESTROY HOURS OF WORK ONCE EVERY FUCKING WEEK.

AAAAAHHHH!!! FUCK SHIT ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER CUNT BITCH WHORE TITTIES BITCH!!!!

I have spent 200 hours in the last couple of months cutting code out of a form that doesn't work into a blank form, and watching it work perfectly. Of course, by the time you have chosen this course of action, you have spent HOURS combing through your code looking for some sort of explanation for why the code just stops running. No error message, nothing. I should have been DONE with this fucking project months ago. But randomly, this is what you get. The code is not the problem; it just isn't going to work, is all. Not today, sorry. Well FUCK YOU too.

I really don't have anything else to say. God fucking damn this piece of motherfucking shit. I am so tired of answering questions from my bosses that I don't have a fucking clue about because there are no answers.

Whoops! Earlier I forgot:

DICKFACE PUSSY FART PLACENTA BILE ANUS HELL RECTUM COCKSUCKER

If you don't use Access, then shut your fucking hole; you are probably a pussy who works in some environment that consistently functions as expected and only crashes when your code does something that doesn't make sense.

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