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general Home Despot: More Adventures in Big Box Store Land
by egogg
gfd messages
(1337@clownpenis.fart) on Apr 24, 2005 01:11:10 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

In the immortal words of Lewis Black, from his "End of the World" tour--"...There was a Starbucks across the street from a Starbucks, and that, my friends, is the end of the universe."
 
Our culture is sick--myself included.

I wrote a couple of months back about my utter disdain for Wal-Mart. Now, there is a new "big box store" to my little town (of 40k, college students inclusive).

Across the street from our recently constructed Wal-Mart Stupor-Center is a newly constructed Home Depot. Do the folks down at 'Depot HQ do any market research? How can a town this small support this shit? Its like building a tri-level mall in Tickfaw, Louisiana. I discovered how just today--there are a total of three people running the damn thing! And they must have hired directly from a small group of well meaning, but completely moronic-morons (from the department of redundancy department).

My standard strategy of dealing with these types of stores fails with this one. I try to know what I want, where it is in the store, and how much it is, so as to absolutely minimize the amount of time wasted on such ventures. But at each turn, I am beaten. Know where something is? NO. They move shit around intentionally to fuck with your mind. And the store is so huge, if you manage to find an employee, they don't know where all of the assorted shit is either. How much it costs? Its a function based on the gradient of the integral of the cross-product of the barometric pressure and the number of times the manager decides to whack off that particular day. An item on the shelf costs one thing, but if they move it to a little stand blocking the goddamn lane, it usually costs more. Like the convenience of having the thing two feet closer to me on a stand is going to make me froth at the mouth and immediately and mindlessly shove it into my cart. Even more unbelievably, there is ONE that's right ONE cashier open in a row of fifteen. Worse than Wal-mart. Worse than fucking Wal-mart.

And I shop there, and I shop at Wal-Mart,and take it up the ass from big corporations, 'cause I'm a good little consumer. And y'all do it too. And there is nothing any one person can do about it, because people are too fractious to combine their buying power. And, I wanted to start another sentence with and.

[ Comment on this story ]


    Lewis
    by Leighto
    gfd messages
    on Apr 25, 2005 01:39:45 AM
    (#18534)
    His name is Lewis Black.

    No, they don't move things around intentionally to fuck with you.

    And if you hate it so bad, either get a job there so you can fix it, or stop shopping there, dumbass.
    [Reply to this comment]
      Corrected.
      by egogg(1337@clownpenis.fart)
      gfd messages
      on Apr 25, 2005 12:48:08 PM
      (#18540)
      Now, about the moving shit around....
      I know from practice that exising products in most stores are intentionally moved around in stores so as to show of new products. Sure there roughly separated into categories--hardware, plumbing, etc. But within those categories, shit gets moved.

      Sorry about your Focus. Now you can probably write a GFD about how mechanics fuck with you.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
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    On the bright side
    by bwc
    gfd messages
    on Apr 25, 2005 09:53:16 AM
    (#18535)
    At least it's better than K-Mart.
    [Reply to this comment]
    You really need to ...
    by bean
    gfd messages
    on Apr 25, 2005 11:33:03 AM
    (#18538)
    ... start shopping elsewhere. Your blood pressure must be insane if these shopping trips are anything like what you described here. There is no reason you need to shop at any particular store. Unless that's the only store in town and you won't drive an hour to find another.

    It depends on what your priorities are. Whether you just want the item and are willing to support the coporation and deal with the stress. Or whether you go out of your way to support a local store and deal with the annoyance of seeking that store out.
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