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|I should have just expected it would take 6 weeks to get my car back. I'm dealing with an insurance company, after all.|
|So I'm taking the freeway in to work one morning. I'm following a truck that's releasing some rather nasty exhaust. At least I thought it was exhaust. Suddenly, the truck belches out a large, thick, noxious, black cloud that obscures all vision. After passing through the cloud, I see a 6 foot section of metal tube, roughly 6" in diameter, go flying out from under the left side of the truck and into traffic. I move right only to discover that I've aligned myself perfectly with some other large and irregular piece of debris ejected from the truck. My options are: |
(a) try to dodge it all together and risk running my tires over it
(b) spread my tires around it and hope for the best
Considering that I'm going 65 mph, I choose option (b). If I have 4 good tires, at least I'll be able to stop my car in a controlled fashion.
4 hours, 2 cop cars, 1 state police report and a tow truck later, I finally arrive at work. The state police report lists the truck as the "Offending Vehicle." It's a cut and dry case, right? What could possibly go wrong?
The other guy's insurance company assigns me a claims adjuster, henceforth to be known as "retard #1". Retard #1 is kind enough to offer me a rental car, paid for directly by them, until my car is fixed. I go to pick it up and find out that it's a Kia. I'm 6'5" tall which means I look an awful lot like like a dozen midgets piling out of a clown car every time I get out of this thing. I complain and they offer to upgrade me.
An appraiser is assigned to the case. Since the appraiser is apparently either mute or fingerless, he never calls the dealership to coordinate his arrival. As a result, all the lifts have partially disassembeled cars on them when he arrives. The appraiser slides under the car, sees that the transmission pan is punctured, and everyone agrees that a supplimental check will have to be issued after the dealership can get the car up on a lift. A couple of days later, retard #1 gives the ok to fix the car. The dealership discovers that my transmission case is well and truly cracked. I discover that my rental car has a slow leak in one tire. I pump it full of fix-a-flat and pray to god that it holds until I get my car back.
The appraiser is supposed to go and look at my cracked transmission case so he can authorize the release of a suppliment check but, instead, decides his time would be better spent dodging everyone and everything, thus making himself completely unreachable to me, the dealership, and (as I later discovered) even the insurance company he works for. Retard #1 also makes herself completely unavailable and decides not to return any of the 8 messages I leave for her. Late in the week, I discover that Retard #1 is only a part-time claims adjuster and, by extension, that they never intended to get this done quickly. I get a call from enterprise rent a car. Enterprise tells me that: (a) the insurance company has me scheduled to return the rental on friday despite the fact that my car is still a 2 ton paper weight and (b) that the insurance company never authorized full payment for the car so I'll owe them $2/day for every day that I've had the car.
14 phone calls and 3 hours later, I find out the name of retard #1's boss. I leave an angry message and get a call back from someone else who is not the retard's boss. I spend 2 days bringing this new lady, retard #2, up to speed. The process starts almost completely from scratch with only one bright point: retard #2 agrees to honor the original deal and pay 100% of Enterprise's charges. I finally reach the appraiser and a he-said, she-said starts between the dealership and the appraiser. Each claims that the other won't return their phone calls. Also, I discover that none of the faxes that anyone had sent over the last 2 weeks had been received by anyone else. I stop caring.
I get a phone call from retard #2 saying the the check should show up later in the week. Retard #2 calls the dealership and asks them if they would release my car to me with a promise to pay. They, being fed up with the insurance company too, tell retard #2 to fuck off. The check never shows up.
Retard #2 leaves a nasty message for me that asks why I haven't gone to pick up my car yet. The check finally arrives in the mail. I call the dealership and they say that I owe over $400 more than the sum total of the two checks I received (original estimate and supplement): $3800 as opposed to $3400.
I proceed to leave nasty messages for retard #2, retard #2's supervior, and retard #2's division leader. Magically, the $400 dissappear.
I'm now waiting for the checks to clear. Care to wager on whether or not the bank decides to hold them pending a SAR?
Christ, I'm so done with this...