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people Random Tucson Encounters With TheChisa
by TheChisa
gfd messages
(come@me.bro) on May 25, 2006 12:52:23 AM

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No story, just a collection of shitty, shitty people who have pissed me off enough to warrant the Wrath of the Chisa Fist.
 
INSTANCE #1: BUM REPELLENT

Chisa enters Walgreens. Bum is standing outside entrance. Chisa assumes that, like all other Tucson bums, this one will accost him for change when he exits store.

Chisa acquires needed items and pays at counter. Before he leaves, he asks, "Hey, could I get an employment application while I'm here?" Cashier happily hands one over.

When Chisa exits, bum asks, "HEY BUD, GOT ANY SHPARE SHANGE?" Chisa wordlessly hands bum application and walks away.


INSTANCE #2: CAR ALARM CRAZY

Chisa gets out of shower to find car alarm is going off right outside his door. Chisa dries himself, dresses, checks email. Car alarm keeps going off. Every time car alarm appears to stop, it triggers again immediately after.

Chisa puts up with noise for ten minutes, then grabs boxcutter and heads for door.

Chisa opens door to find crazy homeless guy literally kicking someone's car every time alarm stops, gazing on it uber-crazily as if it is delivering him messages from Jesus.

Bum looks up as Chisa approaches, weilding razor blade. "Hey HEY," says Chisa, "I was just gonna slice the tires on whoever's car was fucking up my leisurely evening, but instead I think I'll SLICE OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD."

Bum runs. Chisa goes inside.


INSTANCE #3: JUST TRYING TO HELP

Screen door is closed, main door is open, allowing fresh night air into home. Group of drunken, loud, promdress-clad whores stop in front of Chisa's house, deciding for some reason to hang out on Chisa's porch.

Chisa listens to their prattle for about five minutes. Then, Chisa picks up one of his department store mannequins and places it in front of the screen door, facing outwards.

Drunken whore says. "OHMYGAWD, WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING?"

Chisa says, "Hey, I just thought you bitches could use another friend on your level."

Whores leave.


MORE ADVENTURES IN FAILURE TO COME!

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