GFD logo
         Home   Log in   Get an account  
Privacy   FAQ   Contact   Chat live  
Stickers   GFD Store  

Stories Comments Both
general The Ugliest People in America vs Self-Delusional Asshole Hipsters
by Haceldama
gfd messages
(I don't like you, either) on Dec 10, 2006 11:02:23 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

I have not been to Wal-Mart in over two years. In explaining why I avoid this hellhole, I could cite all of the requisite, politically correct, trite rhetoric that most people espouse as their reason for shunning it. "It eventually cripples the local economy by forcing out small businesses" or "They hire marginalized (insert minority here) workers and treat them like shit" and blah blah blah. These reasons may be good ones; they may even be true. Whatever. To me, the rhetoric has always amounted to an intellectual posture that avoids the brutal truth.

Simply put, the ugliest people in America shop at Wal-Mart. I avoid entering Wal-Mart for the same reason that I avoid going to buffet-style restaurants, fast-food joints, and the Rockford Speedway...these places are rife with the ugliest, stupidest cross-section of Americans. They are peopled with the nimrods that I have worked an entire lifetime to avoid. One look at a Wal-Mart parking lot tells you all you need to know about the creatures within; any place where 3 out of 4 cars display Dale Earnhardt stickers, those god-awful, puke-worthy "I Support our Troops" ribbon magnets, or have the phrase "Git-R-Done" stenciled on the actual vehicle is bound to be a frightening sociological experiment. A Petri dish of ignorance, hairspray, patriotism, Pabst, chrome rims, bandanas, spandex, and firearms. Fuck.
The only form of life lower than a regular Wal-Mart customer is the hipster that shuns them. It is one thing if you think that Wal-Mart has ugly, poorly-constructed merchandise, if you have a real ethical issue with it (and you're not a total hypocrite about it), or if you are like me and the patrons alternately repulse you and scare the bejesus out of you. It's quite another to take some kind of fucked-up moral high ground where you get on a fucking soapbox and preach to everybody about the evils of capitalism, big business, and "Corporate America". Just shut up. Unless you are living in a cabin that you built yourself with hand-forged nails and wood from tress that you personally grew, raising your own livestock, weaving your cloth out of cotton or flax that you grew in your yard, and sewing them into clothes, just shut the fuck up.
Besides, we all know that you are not living in a cabin, because you tell us all about the cool loft that you live in at every fucking opportunity. You want to pretend that you're poor and artistic, because you think that this somehow imbues you with nobility, talent, and high purpose. You want to believe that you are anti-capitalist and anti-establishment because you eschew the mall in favor of the newest trendy "Vintage Boutique". Newsflash, assholes. Paying $50.00 for a "vintage" belt buckle that originally sold for $7.99 in 1985 at the "He-Haw Western Wear" does not make you anti-capitalist. It makes you stupid. Do you honestly believe that the proprietor of that oh-so-hip "Vintage Boutique" isn't benefiting from your attitude and laughing all the way to the bank? Do you really think they are living the life of "the proletariat"? Fuck no...they're drinking $5.00 cups of coffee just like you. I do not give two shits if you want to spend your parent's money on a mint, first pressing of "Ziggy Stardust". I get it. Bowie Rocks. I have a copy of "Ziggy Stardust" too, only it is on CD, I paid $9.99 for it, and it will probably outlast me, as long as I don't try to decapitate you with it when I'm drunk. You don't like Bowie anyway, you only bought the fucking record to show how cool you are to all of your vacant, hipster friends. How nice, you can spend the night drinking whatever's cool (and tastes like ass) these days and have a pseudo-intellectual circle jerk about capitalism, your record collection, and the $40.00 you paid for the rag on your back that some weirdo sweated in 25 years ago. Have fun, man.

[ Comment on this story ]

    by sleestack
    gfd messages
    on Dec 10, 2006 11:19:49 PM
    Hehe, This is beautiful. Sadly, I find Ethan more annoying than Tanya.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Besides which,
    by TheChisa(come@me.bro)
    gfd messages
    on Dec 11, 2006 01:53:07 AM
    any record connoisseur worth his salt knows that "Low" is where it's at for Bowie.

    But everyone pretty much knows how I feel about hispters at this point.
    [Reply to this comment]
    This might please you ...
    by QuizzMizz(a.quiz@nine.kills.time)
    gfd messages
    on Dec 13, 2006 09:17:41 AM
    WalMart has gone bottoms-up in Germany, had to sell out because they were unable to implement their "style" here, not with the customers and not with the employees.

    But then, the whole society is structured differently, kids here don't tend to hang out at malls or the like anyway (it's parks and poolhalls; [internet]cafés for the wannabe hipsters), there's not as much "white trash" and there are nowhere near the same numbers of minority or illegal workers to be exploited. And since everything's usually so much closer together here geographically, low prices or accessibility are no sales argument. There are plenty of other, cheaper discount chains in the vicinity to compete with. There are also still quite a few not-so-cheap, but personal mom & pop stores where the employees actually recognize their customers and sometimes even know their names. This goes down particularly well with the growing elderly demographic that have the money.

    So bye-bye WalMart - No tears will be shed at your funeral here.

    As for the assholes - WalMart doesn't make 'em, just attracts them. We got 'em here, too, they just don't have Supercenters to congregate in.
    [Reply to this comment]
    coming from walmartatia, i just have to say the only part i disagree with is
    by raven(duz ur face hurt its killin me)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Aug 2, 2007 02:15:56 AM
    i loves me pbr.
    [Reply to this comment]
    by KylenSullivan(
    gfd messages
    on Jan 18, 2019 05:08:55 AM
    Normal appointments listed here are the easiest method to thanks for the work, that means that I am going to the website daily, searching for brand new, fascinating data. Numerous, thank you! Crawley Accountants
    [Reply to this comment]
    Fake stories
    by AnitaAmbani(
    gfd messages
    on Jun 18, 2019 07:18:25 PM
    Is there is anyone who can say what I said because I read these stories and found nothing in it? Actually, I am a programmer at and basically in touch with all kinds of magical stuff, believe me, these stories don't have reality at all.
    [Reply to this comment]
    What a nice story over here?
    by AnitaAmbani(
    gfd messages
    on Jul 22, 2019 09:17:42 AM
    We urge you to please rectify this story as it has no moral values, the story is cooked, find out the truth about ssee2011conference right now and never miss the chance to grow the network as we have been doing, become a part of our social system.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Tell me
    by nirmalakaur(
    gfd messages
    on Oct 10, 2019 12:35:16 PM
    Share his experience with us on urgent bases because we want to know what kind of experience got through has any impact, does he has and how he is capable to manage things, management is also an art where toppers fail usually.
    [Reply to this comment] I recently came across your blog and have been readin
    by joshuaChristopher(
    gfd messages
    on Apr 15, 2020 03:57:44 AM
    I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
    [Reply to this comment]
    토토 커뮤니티
    by joshuaChristopher(
    gfd messages
    on Apr 23, 2020 03:05:29 AM
    Thank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. 토토 커뮤니티
    [Reply to this comment]
    best CBD oil
    by joshuaChristopher(
    gfd messages
    on Apr 28, 2020 04:46:24 AM
    Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information? It is extremely helpful for me. best CBD oil
    [Reply to this comment]
    Toronto Iron Railings
    by joshuaChristopher(
    gfd messages
    on May 7, 2020 01:48:00 AM
    I have a hard time describing my thoughts on content, but I really felt I should here. Your article is really great. I like the way you wrote this information. Toronto Iron Railings
    [Reply to this comment]
    by joshuaChristopher(
    gfd messages
    on May 14, 2020 03:14:28 AM
    This blog is really great. The information here will surely be of some help to me. Thanks!. เว็บแทงบอลUFABET
    [Reply to this comment]
    1080 ti mining rig
    by joshuaChristopher(
    gfd messages
    on May 21, 2020 05:39:10 AM
    Superbly written article, if only all bloggers offered the same content as you, the internet would be a far better place.. 1080 ti mining rig
    [Reply to this comment]
      grout sealer
      by Kainatkhan(
      gfd messages
      on Jun 2, 2020 03:45:57 AM
      Thank you for some other informative blog. Where else could I get that type of information written in such an ideal means? I have a mission that I'm just now working on, and I have been at the look out for such information.
      grout sealer
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]

[ Comment on this story | Back to top ]