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general Who the fuck is THIS guy?
by chronkite
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( on Feb 13, 2010 03:23:38 PM

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Every time I look up from my diligent studies, I see another jackass yammering on and on about What America Needs and What The World Needs. Fuck you! Who are you?
Why would you think you're qualified to say JACK SHIT about DICK SQUAT?


Go back to your other job, your REAL job, and stop embarrassing yourselves in front of us. Because we SEE you.

We see your bosses, too. We know you all think you own it, and on paper you appear to! But your world is ALL paper, isn't it? It was your speculation on exotic derivative futures (???) arcane horseshit that nearly made the world fall apart recently. Or was that just the emergency du jour?

Ain't it always SOMETHIN'!

I can see how you THINK you own it, but then you act like you own US! That somehow you SPEAK for us!

HAW HAW HAW forever.

A two party system is the best one party system in the world. It gives us the illusion that there's genuine differences of opinion, and that they're all along one particular right wing/left wing spectrum.

And there never seems to be any shortage of assholes willing to spout the party line! Just like there's always SOME girl willing to model for the J Crew catalog, or SOME guy to work the fryer at Popeye's.

Make no mistake, the Conspiracy Show is NOT hurting for new cast members.

Some people assume having MORE parties is the answer. NOT SO.

If you think THESE parties are awful, just wait for the ones that REPLACE them. The Hakniglots and the Whammikins. Upinators and the Down Down Party. The Pity Party and the Bachelor Party. Party of Five and the Party Party. All of them at once, scrapping and fighting for their own little point of view.

Whatever, you cocks.


Why do we even NEED a representative form of government? That shit was for the days when it was three days journey by horse to the nearest waterin' hole.

In all my years I have NEVER seen a politician that represents ME. Have you?

And THEY haven't either, or they'd be WORKING FOR THAT GUY. It's all bullshit!

We're the People! The ones they saw fit to Capitalize in the Constitution! The ones that MADE ALL THIS SHIT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE.

We do all the work of the world. We are the ones who all know each other, care for each other, and smile when we pass on the street.

We outnumber this cadre of control freaks by what, three hundred and three million people? And we don't even need a Just Do Your Own Shit and Mind Your Own Business Party.

Maybe it's time not to party. Maybe it's time for a book and and after dinner mint or two. I'm sick of partying.

What if we all just, you know, stopped for a little while. The old Slow Down. The old Time Control.

White folks, you may want to find a minority study buddy for this technique. I can assure you it WORKS.

We're going TOO FAST.

Say you're on an icy road, at midnight, doing 80. and GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! A deer jumps out, you brake, swerve, spin around 360 degrees and just happen to miss him and still be in the right lane. Would you HIT THE GAS AND KEEP DOING 80?

Not me, jack. I'd find a fucking rest stop and break out the sleeping bags. Call Gramma and say I'll be there in the MORNING.

All these fame-addicted fuckers you see on tv, ALL of them, want to KEEP. ON. GOING. "Fuck 80 LET'S TRY TO DO 90! 100! 3000! YEAAAAAHHH!!!! GO GO GO GO GOGOGOOOOOO!!!"

It MIGHT be time to grab the wheel, and pull this thing over.

See, it would take a *LOT* to have a revolution in any traditional sense. Five minutes of thinking about it and you realize they would do ANYTHING to maintain control. And we all know what massacres look like. That shit is awful.

So, everybody, this message is to YOU. YOU the individual. YOU the one who wants to "be different". YOU the one who was having fun right about up to fourth grade, but not since. YOU. YES, YOU.

Give em what they never knew they wanted.

Sit down. Go limp. For once in your go-gettin', goal-chasin' lives, take some time off. Paint. Learn a good biscuit recipe. Write a GFD post that's worth the bandwidth. Anything but what anyone TELLS you to do.

And always remember to ask yourself, when someone starts ranting about what we need to do:

"Who the fuck is THIS guy?"

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