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Stories Comments Both
people Boyfriends
by Danielle
gfd messages
( on Jun 6, 2003 11:11:31 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

To all boyfriends around the world
and there tendency to say things with out thinking of what they
are ACTUALLY saying.
Today's example goes a lil something like

Your girlfriend is feeling a little down in the dumps about her
looks, as girls most often fixate on. U being the voice of reasoning
her shoulder to cry on, her LOVE, are stuck in the situation to
convince her that she is the most beautiful thing that u have ever
laid eyes on. Well does the situation seem to go like this:

Girlfriend: I dont know, i feel like i look like crap:(
You: No, i think u r beautiful. (or) u r beautiful to me

Well WHOOP-DE-FREAKIN-DO, u think she is beautiful, now all
she has to worry about is the other billions of men (and some
women) who might THINK otherwise. See ur fist problem was say
I and Think in the same sentence. Cause she as well as I know
that u r just blinded by the bone chilling fear of catching that
severe beating if u say other wise or the ultimate male scare not
"getting n e tonight". NE ways what does she care what u think
she already has u.

Girlfriend: I dont know, i feel like i look like crap:(
You: Come on u know that looks dont matter to me.

Well damn y dont u just beat her with a stick wrapped in barbed
wire. You basically told her that yes, she did run through the ugly
forest and hit ever branch on her way out.

If u really want to just brighten up your girlfriends spirits all u have
to say is this:

Girlfriend: I don't know, i feel like i look like crap:(
You: Baby, r u serious? There is no way in hell i would b with
a nasty chick. Do u know all the torment i would get from my
boys? I am a SUPERFICIAL MOTHER F$%@ER. If i was
blind and crippled, i wouldnt even let an ugly girl help me across
the street!!!

Now that is the sweetest thing that u could say to your girl to
truely get her to snap out of it

[ Comment on this story ]

    so close, yet so far away.
    by kraken
    gfd messages
    on Jun 6, 2003 11:26:03 AM
    the content was there, only hidden behind poor grammar/spelling/sentence structure. however, I think you've oversimplified the situation a bit.

    girl says, "I'm not pretty"

    guy says, "Yes you are!" -> girl accuses him of lying to try and make her feel better, and goes off on a rant about truth and trust in relationships.
    guy says, "I'd love you even if you were horrid." -> girl goes off on him for not trying to make her feel better. AND/OR girl goes off on him for implying that she is indeed not pretty.

    it's a lose-lose situation. always has been, always will be. it's in the same class as, "do these pants make my ass look fat?"
    [Reply to this comment]
    I know that I always worry
    by cxreg(
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jun 6, 2003 11:46:05 AM
    what billions of men think about my looks :(
    [Reply to this comment]
    How about...
    by GFDman(mike at godfuckingdamnit point com)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jun 6, 2003 11:53:20 AM
    Not giving a shit. Fishing for complements to inflate your self esteem ultimately has the even more negative effect of making you feel like a complete toolshed when you realize how fucking pathetic it is.
    [Reply to this comment]
      by Pxtl(
      gfd messages
      on Jun 6, 2003 02:07:40 PM
      And girls wonder why there are so many sexist, mysogonistic men out there. Try being in a relationship with a woman who acts like that for more then a month and you'll start being convinced that women are neurotic monstrosities sent by the Devil to ruin the lives of men who just want to get their fuck on too. This is why gay men are so nice to girls.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Ask a silly question.
    by Wig
    gfd messagesMSN
    on Jun 6, 2003 12:20:47 PM
    I always assumed "Do these pants make me look fat?" was one of those zen philiosophical questions with no answer. Or at least no -safe- answer.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Here are some better ways to phrase your question to get the answer you desire:
    by zaxon(huk~)
    gfd messagesMSN
    on Jun 6, 2003 12:29:16 PM
    1) Do u think that if I lurned to speak and rite english properly that u cood fall back on luvin my intelligence when u get tired of my poonslop?

    2) Do u find constant bitching and whining to enhance my beauty?

    3) R u rilly content with mediocrity? :~(

    4) i dont rilly care what u think, but cood u say some things 2 make me feel better ;-)
    [Reply to this comment]
      Boo Hoo Boo Hoo
      by hotrod(
      gfd messagesYahoo
      on Jun 6, 2003 02:06:35 PM
      Why do you care what other people think about you anyway. Are you really that shallow, hell most women would be happy to have a boyfriend that loves them and thinks they are hot. I am sure he thinks your the hottest girl alive when you are honking his bo bo!!!!!!!Lmao
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      by SlickyPink(
      gfd messagesAIM
      on Jun 7, 2003 02:45:21 AM
      I give this comment only an 8.
      U r slipping.
      It's ok, I don't think I could really get it up for this, either.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      words of wisdom
      by DogLips(
      gfd messages
      on Jun 23, 2003 02:42:41 AM
      so far the best comments on the above matter. let's face it. if one is has to keep asking for reasurance, perhaps the best answer is: "you look like crap, get over it!!"
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    by raven(duz ur face hurt its killin me)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jun 6, 2003 06:23:29 PM
    i think a lot of girls go for "dudes" because these girls are not capable of a real relationship so they'd rather not even try, whereas a lot of guys go for ridiculously fucked up girls like these because they like torture, anguish, and pain.

    see a dominatrix. save yourself years of unending, continuous suffering. regulate it to a few sessions a month.

    why just get a mind whipping when you can get a real one?
    [Reply to this comment]
      by bean
      gfd messages
      on Jun 9, 2003 02:19:08 AM
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      by an even more beautiful woman who will dress even more provocatively for you.
      by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
      gfd messagesAIM
      on Jun 9, 2003 02:47:18 AM
      god i love doms :D
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      I salute you, Raven!
      by absinthe(
      gfd messagesYahooMSN
      on Jun 10, 2003 08:15:37 AM
      Now that's the type of advise that makes the world a better place! I am bringing all my troubles to your doorstep from here on...
      That said, I am frustrated makeup artist, so I guess I'd be nowhere without the shallow saps who are looking for better living through cosmetics, but I've found by and large that the more important outer beauty is to a person, the less inner beauty they have and/ or are capable of seeing in others. Maybe a good dom could whip some appreciation into her.... KA-

      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    And to think
    by wink(
    gfd messages
    on Jun 10, 2003 11:05:09 PM
    I'm actually afraid to post my first story. I would have expected a much harsher treatment. You all better watch out, or people will start saying you're nice, or even (ugh) friendly.
    [Reply to this comment]
    You can not be serious with this shit
    by E
    gfd messages
    on Jul 24, 2003 10:00:45 PM

    I'd much rather believe that the Little Mermaid(tm) is throwing a Little Tantrum(tm) for her Little Self-Satisfaction(tm).

    I wouldn't be surprised if you get breast implants when you grow up. Of course, if you wanted guys to like you for your intelligence and personality, maybe you should go with a brain implant.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Fucking Bitch
    by tovlakas
    gfd messages
    on Jul 27, 2003 08:20:17 PM
    Here is an article written by Maddox on

    "Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do,
    and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women.

    Someone recently sent me an email titled 26 things a perfect guy would do. I thought "hmm, nobody could possibly send me anything so stupid, it can't possibly be as dumb as it sounds." I stand corrected. The email was just as advertised: a wish list of how women supposedly want men to act, as if men in this country weren't already an episode of Friends away from turning into giant walking vaginas.

    I never thought I'd ever read anything that would induce my gag reflex so quickly, and this is after having read the details of an anal prolapse that a friend sent me tonight. Here is the abridged list (because the full list might literally cause you to barf on your keyboard, and frankly, it's not worth reading), followed by my response to each "thing" that a "perfect guy would do:"

    1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
    When will women realize that they don't live on the set of a romantic comedy? Unless making you smile involves me playing video games while you cook me a steak, you're in for a disappointment. You don't think guys ever feel "down?" The door swings both ways, bitch.

    2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
    What? Why the hell would I want to smell a woman's hair? It smells bad enough with all the sprays and perfume they use. Enough with the conditioners, sprays, and cream already; that shit makes my eyes water. What the hell is conditioner anyway?

    3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
    Translation: bail you out when you fail at life, but never bring it up during conversations.

    4. Give you the remote control during the game.
    This one is inherently stupid because it implies that all guys like to watch "the game." Since I'd rather be shot in the chest with projectile diarrhea than watch "the game," I'll assume the author meant something worthy of watching, such as Ren & Stimpy, in which case you need to put the bitch down if she touches your remote.

    5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
    LAME. Who has time for this? Sounds like something out of a herpes commercial where some lady is rock climbing or doing something else which symbolizes her independence, then out of nowhere she blurts out "I HAVE HERPES." The music gets all serious and you hear a voice over "...there is no cure," cue inspirational music "but treatment is available." Then it cuts to a shot of the bitch on a beach and a guy runs up behind her and puts his arms around her. Good job dumbass, you're dating a skank with herpes.

    6. Play with your hair.
    Again with the hair? Women never play with the hair on my back, why the double standard?

    7. His hands always find yours.
    This is one of those things women read and say "AWW HOW ROMANTIC." I have news for you: holding hands is stupid. Women don't know the first thing about being romantic. Only lesbians hold hands anyway; allow me to explain. The only time it's acceptable to hold hands with anyone is if you're at a peace vigil. Guys don't go to peace vigils, period. If you do, you have to surrender your balls and get a sex transplant because you're a bitch; in either case, you're a woman, and when two women hold hands it can only lead to one thing as far as I'm concerned.

    8. Be cute when he really wants something.
    Bullshit. When I want something, I yell. If she can't hear me in the kitchen, sometimes I'll threaten beatings if I'm sober.

    9. Offer you plenty of massages.
    For your boobs maybe. I happen to have the uncanny ability to massage breasts. With my mouth.

    10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
    Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples.

    11. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
    See, this is what pisses me off about women: they expect special treatment at their discretion. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal treatment for everything EXCEPT when it comes to shit like this, then they want you to "react cutely" instead of, say, putting them in a head lock and making them eat ants and/or spiders while you give them carpet burn. Why don't women react "cutely" when men hit them for a change? Oops, I forgot, that's domestic abuse.

    12. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
    Any guy who would drive five hours just to see a chick for one is an asshole. If every guy drove around for five hours just to spend one with their girlfriend, we'd fill up the air with so much pollution that we'd all choke on the exhaust, get cancer, and then bake under the sun while our lungs rupture and we slowly die from internal bleeding.

    13. Stare at you.
    You stupid attention seeking whore, just buy the bitch a mirror, because apparently she thinks that you don't have anything better to do than to sit around and stare at her. If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel.

    14. Call for no reason.
    Oops, this one belongs on the list of "Twenty-six things women do that piss men off because they need to fill their otherwise vapid lives with something to make them feel like they have a purpose for existing as they eventually realize that they're pissing their youth away on stupid bullshit like fashion trends."

    I can't go on, I'm going to go do something less painful like stick my dick in the oven."

    I agree whole-heartedly, and this story makes me sick. Bitch grow a brain.
    [Reply to this comment]
      boy you're a winner
      by kraken
      gfd messages
      on Jul 27, 2003 09:05:55 PM
      first comment on the site, and what do you do? copy and paste a large amount of copyrighted content from another site. way to start off on the right foot there bucko. a url would have sufficed.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        Well FUCKING know it all
        by tovlakas
        gfd messages
        on Jul 27, 2003 09:45:01 PM
        First off, i explicitly stated that it was off of the website, and if you actually read his website, he stated that its ok to reproduce his work as long as you give him credit. secondly, i know him, so fuck off. I figured most people are too lazy to click on a website to read the shit, so i just posted it. you didnt have to read it if you didnt want to, so dont start bitching at me. gg.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
          so basically
          by kraken
          gfd messages
          on Jul 27, 2003 10:32:26 PM
          knowing the guy means that you're free to post huge comments lacking any original thought, which boil down to "boy I agree this sucks"?
          [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
            more like
            by tovlakas
            gfd messages
            on Jul 28, 2003 05:13:19 AM
            basically, why waste my time writing out all my feelings when someone else already did, and in a well written way to boot. it was meant for enjoyment, so if you didnt like it, my apologies. now fuck off.
            [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Try this
    by bobby(
    gfd messages
    on Jul 30, 2003 06:24:37 PM
    1)Ask yourself what you are comparing yourself to when you think you look bad.
    2)See # 1.
    [Reply to this comment]
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