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general Goddamn Those Fucking Fucking Chickens!
by prophylactic
gfd messages
(prophylactic@ilovethesmellofru) on May 10, 2004 07:59:35 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

Every night when I'm sitting on the couch in my living room watching some prime-time nonsense, about to chow down on a hot TV dinner, a horror of an advertisement comes on for "Nando's Char-grilled Portugese Chicken". It never ceases to freak me out. Tonight when I saw it I nearly inhaled my cob of corn.
 
Nando's is a restaurant in Perth, Western Australia. I've never seen the place, let alone been there. Apparently it specializes in "Potugese Char-grilled chicken". The advertisement goes approximately like this:

"We at Nando's have decided to let you know the secret of our famous, Portugese char-grilled chicken..."
Then the screen cuts to a slow-motion film of two ckickens fucking. Okay. A rooster and a chicken fucking.
Not an animation. Not a couple of hand puppets. Not even CGI.
BUT two real, live, enormous, red-feathered chickens FORNICATING on Western Australia's prime-time TV.
There is about 15 seconds of the slow-mo fucking chickens, then the screen cuts to the restaurant's address and that's it. End of ad. Back to Survivor Allstars.

I mean jeez Louise! What is the world coming to?
Has reality TV been taken to it greatest extreme?
Are we to suffer a string of reality advertisements strategically placed to compliment whatever crass reality TV show we get hooked on and can't live without?

My apologies. I didn't mean this, my first story, to become a rant about reality TV.

It may be the best tasting chicken in the west, but Goddamn those fucking fucking chickens!

[ Comment on this story ]


    it scares me more
    by kraken
    gfd messages
    on May 10, 2004 08:14:22 AM
    (#15068)
    that you're watching survivor.
    [Reply to this comment]
      Me too
      by JadeRzzk20
      gfd messagesAIMYahoo
      on May 12, 2004 03:44:45 PM
      (#15095)
      Only my mom watches survivor. And about those chickens...that's real weird. But what's even weirder is the fact that there is definitley a LAW against restaraunts containing live mammmals. Lobsters are ok, just not chickens. As long as there are no live chickens inside the place, it might be ok.hehe
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        Newsflash!
        by Gribble
        gfd messages
        on May 12, 2004 06:36:12 PM
        (#15099)
        Chickens are not mammals. People are mammals. By your claim, chickens but not people are allowed into resturaunts. And lobsters yes, you did get that right, are not mammals either.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
          Sea Monkeys
          by SlickyPink(suckittrebek@gfdchatrawks.com)
          gfd messagesAIM
          on May 12, 2004 11:30:21 PM
          (#15103)
          are not mammals.
          Geckos are not mammals.
          Cockroaches are not mammals.
          Mice are mammals.
          Help me out here, this is fun.
          [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
            Remember the last tour?
            by GMFTatsujin(Ask and ye shall receive)
            gfd messagesAIM
            on May 13, 2004 11:39:50 AM
            (#15106)
            Well...

            Information is not knowledge.
            Knowledge is not wisdom
            Wisdom is not truth
            Truth is not beauty
            Beauty is not love
            Love is not music
            Music is THE BEST . . .
            [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
              I must not fear the GMFT-Slicky tag team
              by kraken
              gfd messages
              on May 13, 2004 12:44:24 PM
              (#15107)
              Fear of the GMFT-Slicky tag team is the mind-killer. Fear of the GMFT-Slicky tag team is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear of the GMFT-Slicky tag team. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear of the GMFT-Slicky tag team has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

              -The Kraken Gesserit Litany Against Fear of the GMFT-Slicky Tag Team
              [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
                He *is* the Kumquat Haggen-Daz!
                by GMFTatsujin(Ask and ye shall receive)
                gfd messagesAIM
                on May 13, 2004 12:57:16 PM
                (#15108)
                Look into that place you cannot go, and see me staring back at you!

                ...

                Of course, it loses its edge when that place is hotornot.com...
                [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
              I submit
              by Gribble
              gfd messages
              on May 15, 2004 10:46:05 AM
              (#15120)
              that not knowing the difference between a chicken and a mammal is willful stupidity. This is third grade knowledge, folks.

              Miz jade, while you're on the internet, maybe you'd like to learn something about you know, basic stuff? Nasty old men won't buy you presents for a flash of thigh forever, and when it ends, basic taxonomic knowledge might come in handy.
              [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
                as i suspected poop
                by westforkriver
                gfd messages
                on Jul 31, 2004 12:49:07 AM
                (#16256)
                Your vile nature is due to the loss of your youth and now no one wants your pussy haha
                [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
                  Quite the contrary heart
                  by Gribble
                  gfd messages
                  on Aug 1, 2004 03:46:22 PM
                  (#16260)
                  My vile nature is due to the unending stream of nonsense men (specifically, stupid men who see women as obstacles to getting at thier pussies) have thrown and continue to throw at me in an attempt to get to my pussy. Any sweetness in my nature is a result of the few moments of peace that age and vileness have gained me.

                  [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
              Backtracking logically....
              by egogg(1337@clownpenis.fart)
              gfd messages
              on Dec 5, 2005 04:25:05 PM
              (#19878)
              information is also "THE BEST" according to your argument.
              [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Cable TV caters to some weird whims
    by GMFTatsujin(Ask and ye shall receive)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on May 10, 2004 09:53:04 AM
    (#15069)
    I didn't even know they had a chicken-porn channel.

    Not that I'm curious or anything.

    But I'd watch.
    [Reply to this comment]
    oh boy
    by Spanker(munsterinthedark@hotmail.com)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on May 10, 2004 01:52:34 PM
    (#15071)
    And I thought subliminal democratic rats were bad
    [Reply to this comment]
    FUBAR
    by NATO Boy(kissmyass@notforspammers.com)
    gfd messages
    on May 10, 2004 07:17:46 PM
    (#15076)
    Very, very FUBAR.
    [Reply to this comment]
    hmmm
    by Jewsus(I'm paranoid@yahoo.fuck.off)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on May 10, 2004 07:38:07 PM
    (#15078)
    Fucking chickens you say? You'd pay good money for that in the U.S. And it's in slow mo?
    [Reply to this comment]
    Ahhh, Oz heart
    by Cheops(It's a celebration!)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on May 12, 2004 04:27:57 AM
    (#15084)
    It's a shame you folks don't have anyone like John Ashcroft over there. He'd see to that, and anything else remotely involving sex right quick. Hell, ever since the Super Bowl debacle, he's been trying to pass a bill that makes it mandatory for all American women to sandpaper off their sinful, sinful nipples. I'd tell you more, but my government-implanted electrode chip is really giving my testicles the what-for. Gaaahhh, it smells like bacon
    [Reply to this comment]
    You reminded me of the fucking frogs...
    by nusschen
    gfd messagesICQ
    on May 13, 2004 12:44:47 AM
    (#15104)
    ...on the Axe cologne commercial. Not the frogs that have the little hearts floating above their heads, but the version in Europe where they are thrusting their little hearts out. Then they are legs on a plate. Yummmie!
    [Reply to this comment]
    Personally,
    by bwc
    gfd messages
    on May 13, 2004 02:10:54 PM
    (#15109)
    I think it sounds awesome.
    [Reply to this comment]
    You're lucky. We don't have freedom like that here. dunce
    by ohmyfuckingod(frellyou@privacy.net)
    gfd messages
    on May 18, 2004 08:13:38 PM
    (#15179)
    Just grin and bear it.
    [Reply to this comment]
    is there
    by hyperform(chris at impulse fish dot net)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on May 31, 2004 11:30:55 AM
    (#15524)
    a video of this somewhere? It sounds totally unbelievable. Chickens fucking? that's hilarious!
    [Reply to this comment]
    what you need...
    by Thwack(trainedfighter@headbutt.net)
    gfd messages
    on Jun 6, 2004 11:44:22 PM
    (#15656)
    is a subservient chicken.
    [Reply to this comment]
    I have recently made the discovery that...
    by prophylactic(prophylactic@ilovethesmellofru)
    gfd messages
    on Jul 16, 2004 02:35:23 AM
    (#16057)
    ...Nando's chicken is a multinational restaurant chain. I now can't drive anywhere without seeing them nestled cheek-by-jowl with hungry jack's (aka burger king) and pizza hut restaurants!
    Nando's have their own website but I don't think the fucking chickens footage is on it...
    Question: is it an infringement of copyright to copy a tv ad and post it on the internet or is it just free advertising for the company selling the product?
    Because I would really like more people to see this insane ad but don't want to get in twubble...
    An interesting thing to do is this: Go to google. Type the words: fucking nandos chicken. Observe the startling results.
    [Reply to this comment]
    I no like chicken heart
    by clipon
    gfd messagesMSN
    on Jul 30, 2004 12:31:47 PM
    (#16255)
    But coco bay will make up story about me and put here! Come on now!
    [Reply to this comment]
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