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Stories Comments Both
people Goddamn Breeders
by marmot1101
gfd messages
(marmot13@m-net.arbornet.org) on Jul 25, 2004 01:05:55 AM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

I don't know if breeders is a "dead" internet term, but if it is...I am hereby resurecting it.
 
So here is my beef. I am a proud parent of two reasonably well behaved children. By reasonably well behaved, I mean that they don't commit serious fouls. One is turning two today, which pretty much resolves her of most faults, and puts any blame for the obvious annoyances on me. Which I realize, thus I do not take her to fancy places, movies, or any other place where people may expect reasonable quiet. My son is nine, and he can be an argumentative little ass, and he is the main focus of my story.

Here I am, on an otherwise calm night, playing with my younger while the older child is out playing with his friends. There is a lovely game of pelt-each-other-with-crab-apples going on, and all is well. Next thing I know I hear some asshole screaming at him on top of his lungs. This chode was calling him a bastard, a brat, everything but a good little urchin. So I go out to see what the problem is. It seems as though his little sweetums had hit my little sweetums in the face, and this guy was somehow upset that his female sweetums got hit back in the process. Someone forgot to let this guy know that chitlens are the beacons of equal rights...it don't matter what gender you are, if you hit me, I am going to hit you back. So I have to sit through this recently graduated from trailor asshole give me parenting lessons, while he forgets the fact that he is drunk off his ass, and that neither he nor his wife could probably even pick their children out of a line up. So I have to explain to my kid what his colourful words like "neglectful fuck" and "waste of life brat" mean after restraining myself from killing this fine upstanding neighbor of mine. If anyone knows of a nice neighborhood in northern illinios, please let me know, as I am putting my house...such as it is...on the market in the morning

Oh yeah, a mental picture is worth a thousand words. Pencil mustache, beer gut, and a #3 tee-shirt with sleeves removed. Nice eh?

[ Comment on this story ]


    I gave you a nine.
    by TheChisa(come@me.bro)
    gfd messages
    on Jul 25, 2004 01:23:54 AM
    (#16170)
    Very decent first story, hopefully more rage-isnpired prose will follow. However, you misspelled "choad."

    Yes, we are all anal-retentive faggots here. Welcome to GFD!
    [Reply to this comment]
    "chitlins" are not the beacon of equal rights
    by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jul 25, 2004 02:08:05 AM
    (#16172)
    they are the beacon of stink.

    tell your kid not to play with their kids.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Isn't... dunce
    by nusschen
    gfd messagesICQ
    on Jul 25, 2004 11:57:03 PM
    (#16189)
    breeders was a term that the gay community used to call heterosexuals dense and unimaginative as in, "there is only one kind of lifestyle, and it's my heterosexual lifestyle". What does breeders mean to you? Like White Trash?
    [Reply to this comment]
      last splash
      by Cheops(It's a celebration!)
      gfd messagesAIM
      on Jul 26, 2004 09:26:00 PM
      (#16217)
      I've heard it used to simply refer to people who choose to procreate. It's also an above-average band from the 90's.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        Yeah
        by pudge(gfd@pudge.net)
        gfd messagesAIM
        on Jul 27, 2004 02:21:10 PM
        (#16234)
        I don't think it fits here. I find the term to be ridiculously stupid, because it implies there is something wrong with the perfectly natural and necessary act of procreation. But then, what do I know? Apart from everything, I mean.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      My Mistake
      by marmot1101(marmot13@m-net.arbornet.org)
      gfd messages
      on Jul 27, 2004 07:40:36 PM
      (#16238)
      The term that I was looking for was BNP -- Breeders not parents. My bad. I do suppose that would make me the choad here
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        ok,
        by nusschen
        gfd messagesICQ
        on Jul 28, 2004 02:24:04 AM
        (#16244)
        gotcha now
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
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