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general An ode to cat piss
by GFDman
gfd messagesAIM
(mike at godfuckingdamnit point com) on Sep 3, 2002 05:58:54 PM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

When cleaning up cat urine, make sure to not use an ammonia-based cleanser, as cat urine itself contains ammonia, and may cause them to later soil the same spot.

How did I come to know this? ... I don't fucking know.
 

I love cats, they're great. So great, in fact, that I have 3 of them. Their cute little antics and loveable dispositions provide me with great joy.

What does not cause me joy is their piss.

nintariman, you say. Only people who get off on golden showers enjoy piss. Yes, perhaps so, but cat piss is a very, very special type of piss. Wrote a song about it, like to hear it here it go.


Oh, cat pee, cat pee. My friend cat pee.
Why must you always soil me?
Your pungent smell
Sends me to hell
Oh cat pee, My friend cat pee.

FOR JOY! A special treat you've left!
In front of the door!
Pull back the curtains, OH BOY! There's more!
The stain it leaves
Shall last forever!
When asked for my security deposit, my land lord shall respond:
"NEVER!"
It's special smell
wafts through the air
years from now
it will still be there.
Oh cat pee, My friend cat pee.

CAT PEE, CAT PEE. WHY MUST YOU KILL ME.

These pheremones, I spray around
On window sills, and the ground
O're cleansers that have tried before
to clean the piss; my sacred chore
it shant come up, stained to the core.
Oh! There's a Gun! And a Bullet!
Here's my head!
Why didn't I think of this before?
Now I'm dead.

CAT PEE, CAT PEE. WHY DID YOU KILL ME.




[ Comment on this story ]


    Ahem.
    by TheChisa(come@me.bro)
    gfd messages
    on Sep 3, 2002 07:07:58 PM
    (#467)
    *points to comment in Wawa story
    [Reply to this comment]
    Auntie Harley's cat pee advice:
    by Gribble
    gfd messages
    on Sep 3, 2002 08:34:25 PM
    (#468)
    These things may or may not work, but they're worth trying:

    Don't use scented litter. Use the mose un-perfumed litter you can find. Some places sell a type of litter that is made of dried pressed pine needles.

    Why, you ask? Well, kitty thinks perfume smells a whole lot worse than cat pee. So kitty may be avoiding the litterbox because you made it stanky. Try different kinds of litter, see if one or the toher increases or decreases the pee problem.

    Of course, this a supposes that all you cats are spayed and neutered. If that is not the case, you deserve your pain.

    Some other things to try:

    Cats respond to positive reinforccement pretty well. If you hasve three, you know how smart they are. I once trained an adult cat that had come from the pound to give up her cat pee habits by giving her pounce everytime she used the box. Yes, I had to move the box next to my desk for a week or so, and yes, she ran to me for a treat every time she'd peed for the rest of her natural life, but it was better than cleaning up cat pee.

    One more psyche thing:
    Some cats are very fussy about sharing boxes, and some cats are very fussy about using a dirty box. If you don't have multiple boxes, you might want to try that. And of course, you clean the box every day, so that disease does not encroach on your kitties? I thought so.

    And the last thing: Cats are very very prone to urinary tract infections. It's not a bad idea to put a teaspoonful of vinegar (cranberry juice works too, but some of them won't drink it) in thier water and pay more attention to how they seem to be feeling if you think the pee frequency has upped. Also, if you've let your cats get fat, diabetes is a very real possibility, especially if they seem to pee in prodigious quantities.

    For more Cat advice fun, see

    How To Bathe Your Cat.

    http://www.hotgoat.org/articles_how_to_bathe_your_cat.html
    [Reply to this comment]
      Well,
      by GFDman(mike at godfuckingdamnit point com)
      gfd messagesAIM
      on Sep 3, 2002 10:15:39 PM
      (#469)

      I should have mentioned that I have much experience with this subject.

      I do use scented litter. I think I'm going to stop that, as the cats tend to roll around in it, which in turn makes them smell like perfume mixed with shit and piss. I think I'll just take the shit and piss.

      My cats are spayed and neutered. 1 male, 2 females. I believe the male is the one that's pissing inappropriately. He had stopped for quite a while when we moved into the new place, but just started again recently. I hypothosized in the past that this has something to do with a cat outside that's bothering him (he gets severely agitated if he sees an outside cat through the window), and I think that's probably why he pissed up against the big, glass back door to our house today. ... I've had the vet check him out. Physically, he's fine. Mentally, he's kind of a freak.

      As the litterboxes are in my basement, and i'm on the second floor working in my office most of the time, giving him a treat every time he pees would be a difficult proposition. He's also a bengal cat, and bengals are snobs. They don't like pounce, just real meat.

      I've got 3 litterboxes. I clean them out once or twice every couple of days.

      I dunno. If he doesn't stop it soon, he's going to become an outdoor cat. The problem seems to be that he's very territorial, very anxious, and probably very bored. I'm sure he'd love to go outside, and it would probably fix the problem, but I'm just worried about him getting hurt. Like I said, he has a few screws loose, and there's foxes in them thar woods...
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        getting rid of bad smells
        by HEC(?)
        gfd messages
        on Sep 3, 2002 10:41:25 PM
        (#470)
        I just found this ....

        Neutralize the odor by alternating baking soda and vinegar. I always follow cleaning up a pet mess by sprinkling the area with baking soda, leaving that overnight, and then sweeping or vacuuming it up. Pet urine often has both acidic and alkaline components, so the next step is to neutralize the alkaline baking soda and residual alkaline odor using a strong vinegar wash; I use 2 cups of white distilled water to 1 gallon of water. Wash the area with the vinegar wash, and then rinse. The strong smell of the vinegar will dissipate in a few hours.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    mellow kitties
    by bean
    gfd messages
    on Sep 3, 2002 11:45:28 PM
    (#472)
    hmm.. our cats are pretty damn cool about most things. it's like their stoned all the time. they only seem to care if its food time or if you have something shiny. they share a box and are pretty good about it. we got one of those covered ones and they work pretty good except our fat ass cat can barely fit. which is pretty funny trying to watch some fat kitty try to pee in a small box. hehe
    [Reply to this comment]
    So this is what I have to look forward to?
    by emag
    gfd messagesAIMYahooMSNICQ
    on Sep 4, 2002 03:12:58 AM
    (#474)
    My SO is trying to convince me to get a cat. Personally, I'm a dog person myself, but the apartment management doesn't allow any dogs at all. My worries are cat pee all over the place, climbing into bed to find a "present", and the general destruction of the furniture. Don't even get me started thinking about what they'd do to the room full of computers...

    So what's the best way to house-break a cat, and keep it from turning an apartment into a large scratching post/litterbox?
    [Reply to this comment]
      Suggestion
      by banuaba(lol@keke.rofl)
      gfd messagesAIM
      on Sep 9, 2002 06:20:33 PM
      (#637)
      Don't
      get
      a
      fucking
      cat.

      Or if you do, kill the fucking thing.
      Make it look like an accident.
      I suggest the garbage disposal.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        So...
        by emag
        gfd messagesAIMYahooMSNICQ
        on Sep 10, 2002 01:32:05 AM
        (#654)
        I take it taping its feet, or tossing it in a teflon-coated sealed container is out of the question?
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        Meow...meow...meow..meow...meow...meownixed
        by Goatfuck(kurisusama@yahoo.com)
        gfd messages
        on Aug 11, 2003 03:03:32 AM
        (#8304)
        Ground glass in meatballs works pretty good too, if you don't mind the blood. You didn't hear this from me. Plus the SO will be sure to give-up the sympathy sex if you play it up right.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        smelly one
        by cheflord522(cheflord521@yahoo.com)
        gfd messages
        on Dec 20, 2007 07:30:26 PM
        (#25568)
        I got one of those motherfuckers at home, he has no claws, so I am sorry about him, but if I had a neighbor like you near by, I assure you we would have a lot of fun getting me started with the fucker, I sleep on a couch do to the damn smell in the bedroom, the asshole piss every time right at the door so I do not even come in.
        You know I am a chef, may be.... some one has a damn recipe for stirfry cat.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      Really, the main poster there is an exception
      by Pxtl(pxtl@hotmail.com)
      gfd messages
      on Jul 14, 2003 11:34:29 AM
      (#7822)
      Personally, I love cats. I have one, and he's wonderfully low maintenance. He learned how to use the litterbox on his first day in the house, and has never failed. No housebreaking, no training - he just figured it out first thing off. He leaves his "presents" only on the cobblestone in the back yard.

      Still, part of the reason he's so low maintenance is that we're in an old suburb with slow traffic and lots of vegetation, so we let him be an outdoor cat. The only real risk is the large number of neighborhood raccoons - but the city keeps a sharp eye on them to make sure that they're not rabid.

      And as for a room full of computers: they walk on the keyboard trying to get your attention while you work. Its a variation of the popular tactic of "sitting on book you read". Thats all. Really, I find dogs to be (in general) more of a hassle then cats. After a little basic training, cats learn to take care of themselves pretty well. All they want is food, water, a place to shit, and a little attention once in a while.

      He doesn't touch the furniture - his scratching post is the old beat-up wall-to-wall carpeting of my bedroom. Nobody begrudges him that.

      He used to whine at night, but stopped when he learned that the most anyone will do for him is let him out when its late.

      The only real nuiscance I have with my cat is his fur - normal-level shedding doesn't make a mess, but when he lies down he leaves a mass of fur on it that needs to be vacuumed up. Most annoying, his favourite places to sleep ar baskets of fresh laundry and beds - but you either learn to put your clothes away quickly, or accept cat hair. Longhair or shorthair will not change this - even cute shorthairs will shed a lot. The only way to reduce it is to take him outside and brush the excess fur out of him when he's shedding.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    You see, I blame your goddamn cats
    by Cheeselog
    gfd messages
    on Aug 8, 2003 03:35:19 AM
    (#8228)
    I slept on your couch in Nov. 2000.

    Some cat pissed on my leather jacket.

    It is now August, 2003. I can still smell it.

    Fuck cats.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Now you tell me
    by cazualdiva(cazualdiva@notmail.com)
    gfd messages
    on Jan 6, 2007 04:31:42 PM
    (#23084)
    I just last night decided to clean up the spot my cat keeps peeing on with a real stong ammonia solution. I don't know why ammonia seemed like such a great idea but at the time it seemed positively inspired. I remember thinking she'd just hate the smell and thus stay away from the area.

    Then an hour later I watched her pee right on top of it. Damnit.
    [Reply to this comment]
      White vinegar
      by kraken
      gfd messages
      on Jan 7, 2007 03:14:41 AM
      (#23085)
      Soak the area well in white vinegar, then allow it to dry. It will stink until it dries, but it WILL remove the scent from the spot.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      the cat
      by cheflord522(cheflord521@yahoo.com)
      gfd messages
      on Dec 20, 2007 07:48:27 PM
      (#25569)
      Soak the cat in a gallon of white vinegar (about us$ 2.50) sprikle some white pepper about 2oz on his nose, then put some wasabi with cayene pepper and mayo in his tuna and that will do the job for good.
      Good luck with the pisser.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
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    Peace
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